The 17 Perfections
of the CD Burner : Preface
This piece, although a writing project, also formed the
central focus of an installation (pic at end of page)
featuring an antique Tibetan scroll painting of the
Buddhist "bodhisattva" White Tara (herself born from another
bodhisattva's tears - Avolokiteshvara's if you are
taking notes). Add to this a meditation stool and mat
made by monks and you have the ideal environment to read
high-fallutin' words. The scroll painting was
on loan to me by the legendary Edinburgh Buddhist
character, Ani Maverica. A friend of mine (below).
My "scripture," is a fusion between a certain style of
Buddhist text and Nick Hornby's book High
Fidelity. Unlikely bedfellows you might think, but
you'd be surprised.
When I first read Hornby's Fidelity, my heart
sank. I mean a lot. I thought I was in the
minority making compilation tapes for girlfriends and
friends alike. But High Fidelity was definitely
non-fiction for me, almost anthropologically and
depressingly so. Damn. I was just like every other male
peacock fluffing up his musical references in order to show
women exactly what it was I liked and was like.
Sure, I'll pretend it's stuff she might like,
stuff that might make her happy but it's really
all about me.
On the positive tip, if you've read the book or seen the
film, you'll know that it's a kind of search for soul with
musical integrity being the axe to grind. The film
overloads on sugar at the end, predictably so in it's
Hollywoodisation. I would have loved to have seen Ken Loach
or Mike Leigh make this film! and set it in London where it
was supposed to be. Stephen Frears indeed! shame on you!
Much as I didn't like Hornby's personal taste in music, I
thought it tapped into a kind of spiritual search, that
book. So I decided to fuse it with an overtly spiritual
text and write a new scripture for personal use. Terribly
audacious, I know, but I take this CD compilation business
religiously. (Disclaimer: CD compilations outweigh those of
cassettes for me, every time. I started on cassettes back
in 1980 when I was nine so it's not like I haven't paid my
tape-dues - I know this will annoy some men. And they
usually are men.)
I digress. The "overtly religious" scriptural influence was
The Threefold Lotus Sutra which
(eventually) deals with the idea that the physical death
of the Buddha is graphically refuted by the content of
this scripture, by another Buddha, who "died" long
before the historical Buddha ("Shakyamuni" Buddha). This
older fella pops up and communicates with the historical
Buddha himself. In the vision of this sutra, Buddhas are
ultimately immortal. So I liked that. It might be
allegory, implying the only thing that is not bound by
birth and death is "Buddha-nature" itself - only
that is immortal. Personally, I don't believe
in physical afterlives / reincarnations / rebirths (i'd
like to but must resist - see No One Sees Black, but my internal
jury is out on the idea of consciousness surviving.
I don't want to bring you down, but I had at the time, been
wanting to prepare for my funeral. I'd been ill and didn't
know what the future held. So I don't want to sound
dramatic, but the main thing I wanted to give my mourners
(all three of them), was the music that meant so much to me
while I was alive.
I discovered that both High Fidelity and The Lotus Sutra
had one major thing in common. RULES. Compilation
makers and Buddhist texts share much in common with RULES.
But not hardcore RULES. No brimstone here (what the hell is
brimstone anyway?*) - no, both The Lotus Sutra and High
Fidelity share something in common. RULES OF ETIQUETTE. And
as my girlfriend will tell you, etiquette means an awful
lot to me. The Lotus Sutra is so obsessed with who is
present at the Buddha's gathering on Vulture Peak, it takes
ages to get to the actual point. But maybe this is
just 21st Century impatience!
CD / cassette / mp3 comp makers are obsessed with rules.
Here's a quote from the film version of High Fidelity:
"The making of a great compilation tape, like
breaking up, is hard to do and takes ages longer than it
might seem. You gotta kick off with a killer, to grab
attention. Then you got to take it up a notch, but you
don't wanna blow your wad, so then you got to cool it
off a notch. There are a lot of rules. Anyway... I've
started to make a tape... in my head... for Laura. Full
of stuff she likes. Full of stuff that make her happy.
For the first time I can sort of see how that is
done. "
Enough already. Here's the Scripture. Oh and *brimstone =
an inflammable mineral substance found in quantities on
the shores of the Dead Sea. The cities of the plain were
destroyed by a rain of fire and brimstone (Gen. 19:24, 25).
In Isa. 34:9 allusion is made to the destruction of these
cities. This word figuratively denotes destruction or
punishment (Job 18:15; Isa. 30:33; 34:9; Ps. 11:6; Ezek.
38:22). It is used to express the idea of excruciating
torment in Rev. 14:10; 19:20; 20:10. Godweb.org
Lost Buddhist Sutras Of Scotland Vol. 12, Chapters 08-09
The Discourse on the Seventeen Perfections of the
CD Burner
THUS HAVE I HEARD,
Upon a time, The Buddha was sojourned in Holyrood Park, by
Meadowbank, and was enrobed, carrying his bowl and making
his way through the Scottish Widows building, close to The
Pool of The Commonwealth.
In the midst of the city, in that life insurance building,
he begged for food, from door to door according to rule.
This done, he returned to Holyrood Park. He ascended the
Seat of Arthur, right to the top, so that he was looking
down on Edinburgh from a great height, even a height as
grand as that of Mount Meru. This done, he took his meal,
put away his robe and begging bowl, washed his feet,
arranged his seat, and sat down.
A great assembly surrounded him. A great many bhikshus were
there, even four thousand. With him were the bodhisattvas
Avolokiteshvara, Manjughosa, Variocana, alongside other
primordial Buddhas. Joining them were the major Scottish
bands of the day, The Delgados, Future Pilot AKA, Franz
Ferdinand, Arab Strap and Mull Historical Society plus
assorted members of Mogwai and Dogs Die in Hot Cars. Elders
such as Christian brothers The Proclaimers were also
present. Contemporary artists (such as David Shrigley and
Ross Sinclair and Christine Borland) were also gathered,
all waiting patiently for The Blessed One to speak, along
with MSPs from Parliament. Sir David Steel could be seen
clearly in the crowd. Voluntary workers and Footballers
with their supporters from both sides of the sectarian
fence were all humbled by The Buddha’s presence and even
local youths and any ned affiliates were silenced,
just taking in his presence, his darsan.
Just then,
An artist working in (but not exclusively) digital media of
formats many, rose from the crowd, uncovered his right
shoulder, knelt upon his right knee, and respectfully
raising his hands with palms joined, addressed The Buddha
thus:
“World Honoured One, the time of my death is uncertain. I
am like a rabbit caught in a snare. The causes of life are
as unstable as a house without foundations. When one of
these causes fails, the house collapses and then I shall
die. But in my dreams I live forever! I have been trying to
come to terms with mortality and find emotional techniques
within The Holy Dharma to assist my passing and my
relationship to it. Oh Blessed One! You have been able to
extinguish the anguish of your own passing, but for me,
there is still much work to do. How can I overcome this
mortal suffering?”
The Blessed One was moved by the artist’s question and
spoke unto him thus:
“Artist, I can see you have been practising The Holy
Dharma, but within the battleground of the spiritual life,
have you been perfecting craving for sensuous experience?
Have you been perfecting the emancipation of heart with
mind? Have you thrown down the veil of passions and parted
the veil concerning the knowable? Have you witnessed youth,
health and life as intoxicants or are you still infatuated
by them? Have you contemplated the unsatisfactoriness of
this existence, of Samsara? Have you contemplated
Impermanence? Insubstantiability?”
The artist looked upon The Blessed One with tears in his
eyes, and was ashamed to say “Lord, I have been exerting
right effort as I see fit, but difficult is this spiritual
life, difficult is my attainment of liberation, difficult
is my relationship with emotional pain, most difficult is
the suffering of change and most difficult of all is
existential unsatisfactoriness.”
The Blessed One was moved by this humble admission of the
artist’s instability on the path and realised that the
artist must seek change within a new Dharma-gate, the
tongue of firewire. He spoke a second time to the artist
thus:
“Artist, you must be familiar with the Dharma of the Six
Perfections of the Bodhisattva and the Ten Perfections of
the Bodhisattva and such Dharmas as The Four Noble Truths,
The Noble Eightfold Path and other modes of thought and
practice?”
“Yes my Lord, these are most excellent Dharmas, they are
Dharmas inspirational, Dharmas practical and Dharmas
transcendental. Indeed I know them and indeed I try and
live by them.”
“Well said artist! Well said! But let me give you a
personal Dharma, in your own language, that you may use and
practice and ultimately realise, to assist in your
emotional understanding of your so-called death.”
“Lord, what would such a Dharma be? Indeed I would be
thrilled, elated, nay, jubilant to hear of such a Dharma,
if such a Dharma could be unveiled before me, I could then
perhaps articulate and liberate my melancholy and terror.”
“Artist, this is the Holy Truth of the language of
firewire. This language can be used by you through your
electronic peripheral, that language you know so well. This
is the language. But the teaching, the teaching is a
Seventeen Fold Perfection.
The Seventeen Fold Perfections of the CD burner are a
collection, a basket, a compilation, in fact, the only
compilation a man can ever truly perfect with physical
death itself being the deadline. The Seventeen Fold
Perfections of the CD burner are most excellent in design,
most considerate in selection, most appropriate in delivery
to assist one’s entry into Nirvana or a skilful rebirth.”
After you receive this teaching you must realise this
teaching. My dear Artist, I ask you to create a compilation
CD for your own funeral. This will help you overcome your
fear and solidify your practice on the path. In the same
way a prayer wheel is spun, rotating the mantra out into
the ether, or directing it’s merit to it’s recipient, your
CD will spin your life songs out via the mourner’s hearts,
and for just a few moments, you will affect the universe
with both your curatorial skills and empathy of those
cramped by Samsara. You must meditate strongly on the CD’s
content; you must adhere to its rules with all your heart.
You must not rest until this compilation has been
perfected, until it has been tested on Walkman or ipod, on
foot and on bus, on streets cobbled and streets tarmac. You
must be ruthless in your selection, but you must stay to
the path of the teaching as close as you can.
Here are your Seventeen Perfections of the CD Burner. You
will be a pilgrim, locating one music track for each
Perfection.
The First Perfection is the admission of your own
imperfection, confessing any faults. The Second Perfection
is to recollect your first epiphany where you saw a glimpse
of the unconditioned. The Third Perfection is to understand
the mechanics of universal melancholy. The Fourth
Perfection is to locate music that affects the listener’s
physiology in a manner conducive to meditation. The Fifth
Perfection is to master all forms of sleep as preparation
for death, using gentle imagery. The Sixth Perfection is to
face your existential terror and trauma head on. Admit your
fear, Artist!
The Seventh Perfection is to come to reconcile your
relationship with Theistic thinking, Theistic thinkers -
don't be hard on The Theists, artist! The Eighth Perfection
is to be aware of other’s similar existential traumas, even
that of murderers. The Ninth Perfection is to become one
with compassion. You may use traditional Dharmic sources.
The Tenth Perfection is to understand the power of mantra
and of skilful song. The Eleventh Perfection is to master
humilty.
The Twelfth Perfection is to master sorrow. The Thirteenth
Perfection is to transcend sorrow. The Fourteenth
Perfection is to transcend this life by the power of your
imagination. The Fifteenth Perfection is to pay homage to
friendship. The Sixteenth Perfection is to let go of
everything, to renounce clinging. The Seventeenth
Perfection is for entry into Perfect Death.
Here are the ten conditions that will also give rise to
these perfections, please adhere to their Dharmic
sensibilities:
1. Your compilation must have seventeen tracks, one for
each Perfection.
2. Your compilation must run as close to 80 minutes as
possible.
3. Your compilation must have a narrative arc.
4. Your compilation must not repeat the same artist more
than once.
5. Your compilation must take into account the tastes of
your funeral audience.
6. Your compilation must be both personal and universal at
the same time.
7. Your compilation must be updated every six months of
your life.
8. Your compilation must be an act of love, a work of art
for everyone.
9. Your compilation must divide threefold, Songs Popular,
Songs Spiritual, and “Music Deathless.”
10. Your compilation must help you renounce this life.
You must finalise your compilation and keep it in a safe
place, you must let others hear the compilation and let
them give feedback on its construction. You must encourage
others to buy the original music by the artists but you may
give them copies of the compilation providing it’s for
their own personal use only. This will complete the end of
the practice of the Seventeen Perfections of the CD
Burner.”
Just them, the artist
working in (but not exclusively) digital media of
formats many, again respectfully raising his hands
with palms joined, addressed The Buddha thus: “Lord
this is a teaching relevant, a teaching
inspirational, a teaching possible!
I pay profound obeisance to this teaching and the
practice of this most noble Dharma.”
Bowing before the World Honoured One, The Tathagata,
Shakyamuni Buddha, the artist working in (but not
exclusively) digital media of formats many, rose from his
right knee, bowed to The Buddha once more, covered up his
right shoulder and returned to his place in the assembly.
After the Buddha finished the day’s teaching the whole
assembly entered with The Buddha into a state of profound
Samadhi for a period of meditation. The Buddha
then left with much of the assembly for Fife (Anstruther
actually) and the artist returned back to his home nearby
with his battered Powerbook and began to plan the
soundtrack to his own death.
After nearly eight months of testing rigorous, testing
disciplined, testing considerate, and spending more time on
the compilation than was probably healthy, the artist then
came up with this:
Imperfection:
1 Failure - Chris Dooks 03:51 Songs Popular*
Perfection of First Epiphany:
2 I'm Not in Love - 10cc 06:06 Songs Popular
Perfection of Melancholia:
3 Across The Universe - The Beatles 03:41 Songs Popular
Perfection of Physiological Contemplation:
4 I'm Walking To A Farm - Ivor Cutlor 02:23 Songs Popular
Perfection of Drowsiness / Sleep:
5 All The Pretty Horses - Kristen Hersh 02:53 Songs Popular
Perfection of Facing Trauma:
6 I See A Darkness -
Johnny Cash / Bonny Prince Billy 03:46 Songs Popular
Perfection of Desire and Misplaced Theistic Longing:
7 Into Your Arms - Nick Cave 04:19 Songs Spiritual
Perfection of Empathy of Others:
8 Until The Morning Comes - Tindersticks 03:38 Songs
Spiritual
Perfection of Compassion:
9 Om Mani Padme Hung - Yungchen Lhamo 07:17 Songs Spiritual
Perfection of Union / Letting go of The Voice:
10 Three Ways Of Describing Rain (Edit)
Michael Nyman / Sajan & Rajan Misra 05:25 Songs
Spiritual
Perfection of Humility:
11 Jesus Blood Never Failed Me Yet (Edit)
Gavin Bryars 04:57 Songs Spiritual
Perfection of Sorrow:
12 Symphony Of Sorrowful Songs (Edit)
Henryk Górecki 05:24 Songs Spiritual
Perfection of Transcendence of Sorrow:
13 Four Organs (Edit) - Steve Reich 02:39 Music Deathless
Perfection of Imagination:
14 Teenage Spaceship - Smog 04:02 Music Deathless
Perfection of Friendship:
15 There will always be - Adem 04:23 Music Deathless
Perfection of Letting Go of Everything:
16 Beatus "Magnificat-Antiphonen,
First Movement - Weisheit" - Arvo Part 01:44 Music
Deathless
Perfection of Entry into Death:
17 Music For Airports - Brian Eno 04:59 Music Deathless
Perfection of Death itself:
18 Spiegel im Spiegel (Mirror To Mirror)
Arvo Part 08:16 Music Deathless
Total Running Time 79:55 Under 80 minutes
(The artist
realised he had already broken some of the rules. He
had technically made eighteen tracks, but as he had
also broken the rule about repeating an artist twice
(Arvo Part) he felt it was a noble transgression as
both inclusions were about the same related
Perfection. He hopes he got away with it. There were
many casualties of this compilation that did not make
the final edit. A track from the marvellous “Sufjan
Stevens, Greetings from Michigan” album tried to
squeeze itself into the final mix but the artist could
not decide which track to jettison to make space and
the CD was pretty “sadcore” already. The artist was
thinking of compiling a volume two of the compilation
but decided it was all about the editing, and that
this would miss the point of the teaching.)
*The artist took
“Songs Popular” to mean songs, which took popular
forms in construction, and not necessarily popular
songs per se.
This Sutra was
recovered, channelled to the artist in a Scottish Bed
and Breakfast on a sheep farm called “Kinnighallen” close to
Aberfeldy, also near to one of the oldest Yew Trees in
Europe, said to be between 3,000 and 5,000 years old,
over a four hour period, exactly one day before the
anniversary of Mahatma Gandhi’s birthday which is
October 2nd
This completes the discourse of The
Seventeen Perfections of The CD Burner. At the start
of this web page is an illustration of a contemporary
prayer wheel to meditate on its qualities.
